God is good all the time and all the time God is good
What do you do when knowing that your husband faces possibly losing his job? What do you do when you know that if he does, that you will have to move back home? What do you do, knowing full well that you want SO bad to move back home; especially being 7 months pregnant and missing back home and your family; so much so that the whole time living where you are now, all you have prayed for is to go back home?
Sadly, I am faced with this. Since moving here, I have never fully adjusted. For the past 8 months, all I have wanted was to move back home. Especially being pregnant. If we have to move back home, I will have SO much more support. I will have my family and his. Our son will be able to be raised around his family. I won't feel so alone. I'll be back where I have always wanted to be..with the crazy weather and the beautiful green grass and lakes to swim in in the hot summer and the corn growing all around and the cows mooing and the open backyard for our son to play in and where if one store doesn't have it, another one will; so many store options. Yet, now, faced with the fact that my husband may lose his job (his evaluation is in a few days) I can't help but feel terrible for wanting SO badly to go home. How is it fair that in able for me to get what I want, that he might lose his job? Yet, if his job is in no way jeopardized, and we stay here, I know I will still be sad in my heart, because we will still be 16 hours away from family, I will have little to no help when our son gets here, and our son will have to grow up only seeing his family maybe once every/ every other year. I don't know what to feel anymore. I don't want to feel selfish. I don't want him to have to lose his job in order for us to move back, and for me to FINALLY be completely happy again. It's not fair. Of course, you can't have your cake and eat it too. So much is running through my mind. Here I am 29 weeks pregnant, and feeling so......torn and sad and not sure what I want to happen, because I want him happy, but I want to be happy again too. Here I am 29 weeks pregnant, with our son rolling around in my stomach and kicking me, and no matter how much I try; lay here for hours, and I can't seem to get to sleep. I wish we just knew the answer by now...so I could be one way or the other. I am tired of thinking so much. All I know anymore, is that God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. He got my husband this job, and if it is meant for us to stay here then it is meant to be. All the sadness in my heart will never change God's plan for us. If it is meant for us to move back home, to where we are surrounded by so much love and help and family, then it is meant to be. Nothing either of us feels or says will ever change God's plan for us. If he loses his job, we will just have to look at it as "God got him this job, He can get him another job.....it's all in God's timing." If his job position is fine, then I will just have to look at it as "obviously God wants us here for even longer for some reason, he still has a good paying job, we still have insurance, I can still go to the same OB who has been seeing me and I can still more than likely have my OB deliver him, and since we are still here, obviously God doesn't want us to move yet."
I don't know God's plan for us, but I do know that if I did know, then I wouldn't be here on Earth anymore..because that's not how it works. If I knew what His plan was, then I would probably skip over some parts and some heart ache; which could potentially be a big part of another part of our journey.We have to learn as the days go. If we we all knew His plan, we probably wouldn't have as much Faith, and Faith is what keeps us all going. I wish I knew the answers sometimes..like now....but I know that is not possible. I just have to keep telling myself "God is good all the time and all the time God is Good." and my favorite: John 16:33- "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Oh how God is so good. On that note, maybe basking in that thought will help me sleep. Then again, maybe not. Maybe my mind will still race at 90 mph, and I won't get any sleep...but no matter what happens, God is always here for me and has never left my side; He knows what is best for us.Only He knows what lies ahead. Worrying about it won't get me anywhere but weary and tired. 1 Peter 5:7- "Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you."
Matthew 6:34- " Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."
2 Timothy 1:7-"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
Matthew 6:27- "Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?"
Staring at these scriptures, my heart eases a little bit. It feels amazing knowing that God "has our backs." It feels amazing knowing that in the Bible...in God's own words, He says over and over and OVER not to worry..not to fear. Sometimes all it takes is reading my Bible verses to help put my perspective back into place. And I will end my night on this note.
Matthew 25- "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?"
Matthew 6:33- "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Sadly, I am faced with this. Since moving here, I have never fully adjusted. For the past 8 months, all I have wanted was to move back home. Especially being pregnant. If we have to move back home, I will have SO much more support. I will have my family and his. Our son will be able to be raised around his family. I won't feel so alone. I'll be back where I have always wanted to be..with the crazy weather and the beautiful green grass and lakes to swim in in the hot summer and the corn growing all around and the cows mooing and the open backyard for our son to play in and where if one store doesn't have it, another one will; so many store options. Yet, now, faced with the fact that my husband may lose his job (his evaluation is in a few days) I can't help but feel terrible for wanting SO badly to go home. How is it fair that in able for me to get what I want, that he might lose his job? Yet, if his job is in no way jeopardized, and we stay here, I know I will still be sad in my heart, because we will still be 16 hours away from family, I will have little to no help when our son gets here, and our son will have to grow up only seeing his family maybe once every/ every other year. I don't know what to feel anymore. I don't want to feel selfish. I don't want him to have to lose his job in order for us to move back, and for me to FINALLY be completely happy again. It's not fair. Of course, you can't have your cake and eat it too. So much is running through my mind. Here I am 29 weeks pregnant, and feeling so......torn and sad and not sure what I want to happen, because I want him happy, but I want to be happy again too. Here I am 29 weeks pregnant, with our son rolling around in my stomach and kicking me, and no matter how much I try; lay here for hours, and I can't seem to get to sleep. I wish we just knew the answer by now...so I could be one way or the other. I am tired of thinking so much. All I know anymore, is that God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. He got my husband this job, and if it is meant for us to stay here then it is meant to be. All the sadness in my heart will never change God's plan for us. If it is meant for us to move back home, to where we are surrounded by so much love and help and family, then it is meant to be. Nothing either of us feels or says will ever change God's plan for us. If he loses his job, we will just have to look at it as "God got him this job, He can get him another job.....it's all in God's timing." If his job position is fine, then I will just have to look at it as "obviously God wants us here for even longer for some reason, he still has a good paying job, we still have insurance, I can still go to the same OB who has been seeing me and I can still more than likely have my OB deliver him, and since we are still here, obviously God doesn't want us to move yet."
I don't know God's plan for us, but I do know that if I did know, then I wouldn't be here on Earth anymore..because that's not how it works. If I knew what His plan was, then I would probably skip over some parts and some heart ache; which could potentially be a big part of another part of our journey.We have to learn as the days go. If we we all knew His plan, we probably wouldn't have as much Faith, and Faith is what keeps us all going. I wish I knew the answers sometimes..like now....but I know that is not possible. I just have to keep telling myself "God is good all the time and all the time God is Good." and my favorite: John 16:33- "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Oh how God is so good. On that note, maybe basking in that thought will help me sleep. Then again, maybe not. Maybe my mind will still race at 90 mph, and I won't get any sleep...but no matter what happens, God is always here for me and has never left my side; He knows what is best for us.Only He knows what lies ahead. Worrying about it won't get me anywhere but weary and tired. 1 Peter 5:7- "Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you."
Matthew 6:34- " Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."
2 Timothy 1:7-"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
Matthew 6:27- "Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?"
Staring at these scriptures, my heart eases a little bit. It feels amazing knowing that God "has our backs." It feels amazing knowing that in the Bible...in God's own words, He says over and over and OVER not to worry..not to fear. Sometimes all it takes is reading my Bible verses to help put my perspective back into place. And I will end my night on this note.
Matthew 25- "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?"
Matthew 6:33- "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
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