Blessed

They always say that you never know what you have until it's gone. Today, I can honestly say that I am SO SOOO thankful that we didn't have to learn how much we love our son the hard way. A week or so ago, we received a call from the hospital saying that we had an appointment for our son today at 11am. Mind you, we didn't make the appointment, so we called and asked them, and apparently our doctor had set it up because his white blood cell count was low for like the 4th time and they were quite concerned....which usually means something REALLY bad. :'(  As you can imagine, i have been nothing but a bundle of nerves since then. When we arrived to the hospital today, I felt like I was going to puke; I hadn't eaten in 2 days because I was so nervous. Of course, before he could be seen, he had to have his blood drawn and when he was screaming and yelling, I just kept thinking to myself "if this is the start of all of the pokes he is going to get, I am going to cry. Please let this be the worst that he will ever have to experience." Waiting the hour after that, it felt like a year. As we sat in the oncology waiting room and we saw all of these sick little girls and boys, I tried to keep from crying. I could only imagine the pain they experience every day; and possibly the pain my little boy could be experiencing soon. All I could keep thinking was what my grandma told me..."sure, me getting cancer is understandable because I am old...but no baby should have to go through that. They're only babies. What have they done to deserve it?" Walking back to the room, I tried to keep everything together; I kept thinking of what I would do if we were faced with the worst. As soon as they told us that our son did NOT have cancer, but something that would possibly treat itself, I could have literally jumped out of the chair and kissed them! Honestly, I have never felt more blessed in my life. I have never felt so lucky to have my little boy to hold and run around and scream and cry and laugh. I am blessed to feel HOW MUCH and HOW BLESSED I am, without having to witness it through a broken heart and eyes full of tears. If you are a parent and have had to experience dealing with something like this, I am sure you completely understand. And if you are a mother/ father of a child with cancer, just know that you are the absolute strongest parents I know. Not only do you have to be strong for yourself, but you have to be strong for your little ones as well. All of you are my heroes. <3 Nothing compares to that feeling you get when you get that call. But then again, nothing compares to the feeling you get when you realize that your child will be with you for MANY more years to come; especially when being faced with potentially losing them for even a split second. Cherish them. Hold them as tight as possible. Because all of our lives here on Earth are not an eternal thing.

Taking it easy

Goodness I love him so much!